Received: from [209.75.187.203] (HELO ) by MDCCLXXVI.com (Stalker SMTP Server 1.8b6) with SMTP id S.0000265721 for <6Tarchive@CyberSpaces.net>; Thu, 22 Jul 1999 23:10:09 -0700 Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #33 - 07/22/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: Message-Id: 6Traits Digest #33 - Thursday, July 22, 1999 need help. by "Kerry Leggett" Word Choice by "Kathy" word choice sample by "D. Weissman" Word Choice-rubrics assignment by "Debbie SoS" 6Traits- Word Choice rubric assignment by "Shelley Carter" Re: 6Traits- Word Choice #3 by "Kathy Renfrew" Word Choice Rubric by "Molly Godley" Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #3*** Assignment - 11/20/99 by "Shirley Holloway" Primary Authors url by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Word Choice #2 - passage by "Molly Godley" Examples 1-5 by "Molly Godley" Example of word choice by "Valerie Dehombreux" Re: 6Traits- Word Choice-rubrics assignment by "Gray" Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice Examples by "Gray" Word Choice #3 Assignment by "Donald Mattoon" ***Word Choice #4 - 7/22/99 *** Assignment*** by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Word Choice assignment by "Debbie SoS" Re: 6Traits- Word Choice - Example #1,2,3,4,5 by "Shirley Holloway" Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #3*** Assignment - 11/20/99 by ***Word Choice Example by "Cara" Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #1 *** 7/19/99 by "Julia Poor" Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #4 - 7/22/99 *** Assignment*** by Class member request by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Idea Stratgies pages up by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Here are the official scores-word choice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> A *student* rubric guide- word choice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: need help. From: Kerry Leggett Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 17:00:03 +0800 Susan I need help. My computer is being a little silly. I do not have examples 3 and 4 for word choice. I have 1 and 2. I am back at school and very busy but attempting to catch up. The experience of the course and contacts is great. regards from down under. KerryL > > Kerry Leggett 2/18 Hinderwell St Scarborough 6019 Western Australia ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice From: Kathy Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 19:47:26 +1000 I am getting the digest version to help reduce my mail BUT I am missing = some emails. Susan each time you explain a new trait, set assignments and post = writing to assess these are not coming through to me. Luckily sometimes people = reply and I read it on there but this time that has not happened. Anyway here is my = idea of words Roald Dahl I feel uses terrific words which help evoke images in the mind = of the reader . This is from Matilda "Good afternoon, children" she barked. :Good afternoon, Miss Trunchbull," they chirruped. The headmistress stood before the class, legs apart, hands on hips, = glaring at the small boys and girls who sat nervously at their desks in front of her. "Not a very pretty sight," she said. Her expression was one of utter = distaste, as though she were looking at something a dog had done in the middle of the = floor. "What a bunch of nauseating little warts you are." Everyone had the sense to stay silent. "It makes me vomit", she went on, " to think that I am going to have to = put up with a load of garbage like you in my school for the next six years. I can = see that I'm going to have to expel as many of you as possible as soon as = possible to save myself from going around the bend." She paused and snorted several = times. It was a curious noise Also this piece by Jackie French The chooks strutted and clucked inside the netting, impatient to get out = for the day's pecking aroundthe flat, scratching under the blackberries for = beetles and fallen caterpillars, wriggling ecstatically into the dust under the = lavendar bushes. It must be hard to be a chook where they made you stay inside all = day thought Harry. He unlatched the wire gate and propped it open. If you didn't prop the = gate open it might swing shut and then the chooks couldn't get back in at night, and = flew up to the trees instead. Once chooks gotused to roosting somewhere it was = hard to get them to change their minds. Chooks weren't very bright, Harry guessed. The = chooks clustered round him, unwilling to leave till they'd feasted on the = contents of the scrap bucket. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: word choice sample From: "D. Weissman" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 06:10:23 -0400 As usual I can't lay my hands on the book I want but here is an example from Will Hobbs' River Thunder. "Cremation camp was aptly named. We were nine miles into the Inner Gorge and surrounded by furnace-black, bristling walls. In no way resembling the sheer clean cliffs of Marble Canyon, these walls were fractured into a million knife edges, and so steep it was impossible to see up and out to all the slopes and cliffs and above." Deb Weissman Gr 6 Jaffrey, NH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice-rubrics assignment From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 10:30:16 GMT My computer doesn't let me underline or highlight, so I am not *really* shouting :), just emphasizing! LEVEL 1- beginning -EXTREMELY limited vocabulary -misused words -meaning OBSCURED -vague, imprecise, WRONG LEVEL 2- emergent *not a 1 because meaning/impact PRESENT but detracted = from by choice of word -colourless, FLAT, imprecise -monotonous -misused words -reliance on FAMILIAR expressions -fuzzy or ABSENT images LEVEL 3- developing *not a 2 because words are ACCURATE* -ORDINARY -lacking interest -NO variety of words -OVERUSE of familiar words/phrases LEVEL 4- competent *not a 3 because rare EXPERIMENTS in language* -convey MESSAGE -VARIETY of words -FUNCTIONAL, slang not effective -OVERDONE attempts at colourful language LEVEL 5- experienced *not a 4 because word choice ENERGIZES the writing* -message conveyed in an INTERESTING, precise and natuaral way -ACCURATE, specific words -VIVID expression -slang PURPOSEFUL and effective -vocabulary MAY be striking/varied, natural, NOT overdone -ordinary words used in an UNUSUAL WAY LEVEL 6- WOW! *not a 5 because uses ORIGINAL expression, STRONG, specific words EXCEPTIONALLY interesting* -precise, natural -RICH, broad range of words -POWERFUL impact -vocabulary IS striking/varied -STRONG images -FIGURATIVE language may be used Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada Cara Second Grade Kansas City, Missouri ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- Word Choice rubric assignment From: shelleyc@netins.net (Shelley Carter) Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 07:00:48 -0500 Level - 1 - Beginning (Not Yet) The writing shows an extremely limited vocabulary, or is so filled with misused words that the meaning is obscured. vague imprecise Level 2 - Emerging The writing is characterized by words that are colorless, flat or imprecise. colorless imprecise worn expressions Level 3 - Developing The writing is characterized by words that work, but that rarely capture the reader's interest. ordinary lacks interest mundane expression cliches The Strong Side: Level 4 - Competent The writing is characterized by words that work but do not particularly energize the writing. The writer employs a variety of words that are functional and appropriate to audience and purpose. variety of words not energized avoids cliches ineffective use of slang Level 5 - Experienced The writing is characterized by:accurate, specific words and striking and varied vocabulary, but that is natural and not overdone. Words convey the intended message in an interesting, precise, and natural way appropriate = to audience and purpose. broad range of words energized writing figurative language purposeful slang Level 6 - WOW! The writing is characterized by accurate, strong, specific, powerful words which energize the writing. Words convey the intended message in an exceptionally interesting and natural way appropriate to audience and purpose. interesting precise natural purposeful slang evokes strong images Susan Osvald and Shelley Carter Grade 2 Iowa ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Word Choice #3 From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 07:49:21 -0400 Barbara, I am still here reading everything and trying to absorb and sometimes sharing my thoughts Kathy R ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice Rubric From: Molly Godley Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 08:06:07 -0400 1: Vocab: misused, general, vague 2: " : monotonous, flat 3: " : Ordinary, generic, cliches 4: " : functional, conveys messgae 5: " : accurate, energizing, clear image, figurative language 6: " : interesting, precise, natural, rich, broad Anna Liu Toronto, Canada Molly Godley Grade 5 Naples, FL Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #3*** Assignment - 11/20/99 From: "Shirley Holloway" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 08:53:00 -0500 Assignment on Word Choice Level 1 Limited Vocabulary-imprecise inadequate Level 2 Monotonous-Colorless, flat or imprecise Level 3 Ordinary language -mundane and general Level 4 Variety- effectively convey message -functional Level 5 Accurate-vivid fresh effective Level 6 Pwerful words-striking and varied Shirley Holloway/2nd/IN ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Primary Authors url From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 11:02:54 -0700 Also ACTIVITY: Jan Brett SUBJECT: Language Arts GRADES: 1-5 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice #2 - passage From: Molly Godley Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 15:57:46 -0400 Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli: And even though they couldn't stop their much larger mother from lifting them up and plunking them into the water,they could refuse to touch the soap or washcloth. They could make her do it. And they could sit there all stiff with their chins down in their chests and their arms folded tightly and their legged clamped together. And if their mother wanted to wash = their armpits, she would have to get a crowbar and pry their arms up, because they sure as heck were not going to move. Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Examples 1-5 From: Molly Godley Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 15:57:52 -0400 1: 1 - meaning obscured, limited range of words 2: 3+/4- overdone, colorful language 3: 3+/4- forced not effective use of words 4: 5 captured attention, effective, feel loneliness 5: 5 colorful, effective Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL Anna Liu Toronto, Canada Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example of word choice From: Valerie Dehombreux Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 16:55:18 -0400 (EDT) I wish I could share with you a passage from a book that I feel is an excellent example of word choice, but I do not have access to it. I checked for it at our school library but it was missing! Anyhow, that book is Roald Dahl's "The BFG." The BFG (Big Friendly Giant) seems to have a language of his own. There's his grammar (I is feeling happy) and his own words (the only one that I can think of is snozzcumber!) These words are wonderful. They're put together by words you know and they're arranged in the sentences so that you can understand their meaning. It is a joy to read to your students, and will inspire them to invent words of their own. =3D=3D=3D Valerie Dehombreux Third Grade Whiteriver, Arizona tafille@yahoo.com _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Word Choice-rubrics assignment From: "Gray" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 17:00:49 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_0146_01BED463.BFB4CAA0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Word Choice rubric Underlined words separate levels The Weak Side Level 1 - Beginning (Not Yet) Extremely limited vocabulary general, vague words Fails to communicate Extremely limited range of words Imrecise, inadequate Level 2 -Emerging Language is monotonous and/or misused Colorless, flat or imprecise Images are fuzzy or absent Level 3 - Developing Language is quite ordinary, lacking interest Does not employ a variety oof words Generic paper Rarely captures reader's interest Mundane and general Colorful language overdone Misuse words occasionally appear Reliance on cliches, basic The Strong Side: Level 4 - Competent Effectively conveys the intended message Words are functional and appropriate Occasional overuse of technical language or jargon Avoids cliches Level 5 - Experienced Interesting, precise, and natural way appropriate to audience and =3D purpose=3D20 Employs a broad range of words Word choices energize the writing Fresh, vivid expression evokes clear images Figurative language may be used Level 6 -WOW! Exceptionally interesting, precise, and natural way appropriate to =3D audience and purpose Accurate, strong, specific words; powerful words Vocabulary that is striking and varied Strong images Figurative language may be used Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm Sherri Hurst Gr.2 Geneva, Ohio Jackie Meehan Gr. 2 Geneva, Ohio ------=3D_NextPart_000_0146_01BED463.BFB4CAA0 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Word Choice rubric
Underlined words separate levels
The Weak Side
Level 1 - Beginning (Not Yet)
Extremely limited vocabulary
general, vague words
Fails to communicate
Extremely limited range of words
Imrecise, inadequate
 
Level 2 -Emerging
Language is monotonous and/or misused
Colorless, flat or imprecise
Images are fuzzy or absent
 
Level 3 - Developing
Language is quite ordinary, lacking interest
Does not employ a variety oof words
Generic paper
Rarely captures reader's interest
Mundane and general
Colorful language overdone
Misuse words occasionally appear
Reliance on cliches, basic
 
The Strong Side:
Level 4 - Competent
Effectively conveys the intended message
Words are functional and appropriate
Occasional overuse of technical language or jargon
Avoids cliches
 
Level 5 - Experienced
Interesting, precise, and natural way appropriate to =3D audience and=3D20 purpose 
Employs a broad range of words
Word choices energize the writing
Fresh, vivid expression
evokes clear images
Figurative language may be used
 
Level 6 -WOW!
 
Exceptionally interesting, precise, and natural way =3D appropriate to=3D20 audience and purpose
Accurate, strong, specific words; powerful words
Vocabulary that is striking and varied
Strong images
Figurative language may be used
 
Roberta Gray
Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio
rgray7@alltel.net
gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov= =3D
http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.h= =3D tm
 

Sherri Hurst
Gr.2
Geneva, Ohio

Jackie Meehan
Gr. 2
Geneva, Ohio
 
 
------=3D_NextPart_000_0146_01BED463.BFB4CAA0-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice Examples From: "Gray" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 17:06:26 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_014F_01BED464.886CC380 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Example 1 My Stereo Level 2=3D20 Monotonous Overuse of got and like Example 2 Night in the Forest Level 3 Generic Colorful language seems to be overdone Example 3 Journal entry Level 3 Generic Example 4 Loneliness by Tyler Level 4 Effectively conveys the intended message Example 5 Lonliness by Nicky Level 2 becoming a 3 Images are fuzzy Reliance on cliches Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm Sherri Hurst Gr.2 Geneva, Ohio Jackie Meehan Gr. 2 Geneva, Ohio ------=3D_NextPart_000_014F_01BED464.886CC380 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Example 1  My Stereo
Level 2
Monotonous
Overuse of got and like
 
Example 2 Night in the Forest
Level 3
Generic
Colorful language seems to be overdone
 
Example 3 Journal entry
Level 3
Generic
 
Example 4 Loneliness by Tyler
Level 4
Effectively conveys the intended message
 
Example 5 Lonliness by Nicky
Level 2 becoming a 3
Images are fuzzy
Reliance on cliches
 
Roberta Gray
Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio
rgray7@alltel.net
gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov= =3D
http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.h= =3D tm

Sherri Hurst
Gr.2
Geneva, Ohio

Jackie Meehan
Gr. 2
Geneva, Ohio
------=3D_NextPart_000_014F_01BED464.886CC380-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice #3 Assignment From: "Donald Mattoon" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 15:28:55 -0700 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_0139_01BED456.E8E43B20 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable I somehow lost the address of all the first grade teachers that I had as = =3D a "group" in my address book. Will have to dig out the paper and enter = =3D them again. Anyway, I'll do this on my own - a true stretch for me! =3D Teaching first grade, it's a little difficult to work on papers that =3D I'll never see cross my path during the year! :o) Wonder what the upper = =3D grade people would do with some of the things we get for writing. A =3D thought. OK here goes... Level 1 - extremely limited voc.; general message; vague/imprecise =3D language. Level 2 - monotonous; colorless words; images are fuzzy. Level 3 - lacking interest; generic paper (I liked this wording!!!); =3D familiar words & phrases. Level 4 - variety of words convey intended message; attempts at colorful = =3D language; Level 5 - interesting words; carefully chosen; thoughtfully placed for =3D impact. Level 6 - words exceptionally interesting, precise & natural; rich, =3D broad range of words; fresh original expression; words evoke strong =3D images. Examples: =3D20 #1 - I gave it a 2 #2 - I thought a 3 working to 4 #3 - Again a 3 to 4 - scary time for your son!! #4 - A 4 working towards a 5 #5 - A 2 There you have it! Susan Mattoon dsmatt@worldnet.att.net First Grade Cheney, WA ------=3D_NextPart_000_0139_01BED456.E8E43B20 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
I somehow lost the address of all = =3D the first=3D20 grade teachers that I had as a "group" in my address =3D book.  Will=3D20 have to dig out the paper and enter them again.  Anyway, I'll do =3D this on my=3D20 own - a true stretch for me!  Teaching first grade, it's a little =3D difficult=3D20 to work on papers that I'll never see cross my path during the year! =3D :o) =3D20 Wonder what the upper grade people would do with some of the things we =3D get for=3D20 writing.  A thought.  OK here goes...
 
Level 1 - extremely limited voc.; = =3D general=3D20 message; vague/imprecise language.
Level 2 - monotonous; colorless = =3D words; images=3D20 are fuzzy.
Level 3 - lacking interest; = generic =3D paper (I=3D20 liked this wording!!!); familiar words & phrases.
Level 4 - variety of words convey = =3D intended=3D20 message; attempts at colorful language;
Level 5 - interesting words; =3D carefully chosen;=3D20 thoughtfully placed for impact.
Level 6 - words exceptionally =3D interesting,=3D20 precise & natural; rich, broad range of words;  fresh = original=3D20 expression;  words evoke strong images.
 
 
Examples: 
#1 - I gave it a 2
#2 - I thought a 3 working to =3D 4
#3 - Again a 3 to 4 - scary time = for =3D your=3D20 son!!
#4 - A  4 working towards a = =3D 5
#5 - A=3D20 2
 
There you have it!
 
Susan Mattoon    = dsmatt@worldnet.att.net
First Grade
Cheney, =3D WA
------=3D_NextPart_000_0139_01BED456.E8E43B20-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: ***Word Choice #4 - 7/22/99 *** Assignment*** From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 16:01:29 -0700 Hello! Some of you have already anticipated the next assignment. Good for you! =3D) Yes, I'd like you to send strategies for teaching the trait of Word Choice. Send these to me personally. I will compile them and put them on the web site. I'm working this afternoon on more of the idea strategy pages. Here are some Word Choice ideas to get you started. 1. Students can be given simple subject-verb-object sentences to expand with adjectives and adverbs. 2. Collect those favorite words and phrases - post them in the room. Use word banks. 3. Have students evaluate newspapers, magazine articles, catalog descriptions, menus, any common, everyday writing you have. Have them = look for words that work well, and also for words which are too vague or confusing, or maybe redundancies. They can use the simplified student rubric to score a piece. 4. Discuss some words or phrases no longer are used in English (thou and thee, with a few exceptions, that's the cat's pajamas, etc.), or words which are different from one English speaking country to another (hood in the US, bonnet in England). There are some people on the list from Canada and Australia, and maybe they can help us come up with a few more for the second part. 5. Here's a poetry format that makes students think divergently. The two poems posted this week for evaluation were from this format. (An emotion) seems (a color), Like (a comparison). I see... I hear... I smell... I touch... I taste... Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Word Choice assignment From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 00:16:38 GMT I really do find it easier to make the initial judgement of "Is this piece = stronger than weak or weaker than strong?" and then to determine from there. Thanks, Susan. Example 1 - My Stereo I gave this one a LEVEL 1 (beginning). I found the vocabulary extrememly limited, with few desciptive words at all ("expensive" and "really" were used) Example 2 - Night in the Forest I found this piece to be a LEVEL 3 (developing), but moving towards the level 4. I thought that the verbs- "shimmers", "whistles", "crackling" - = to be faily strong and good choices. The adjectives and adverbs, however, = were overdone- "gleamingly", "shining silvery" - and they really detracted from = the message. The rest of the language wasn't varied and frankly, I found = it boring. Example 3 -Journal Entry This piece is stronger than weak. It conveys the message with functional = and appropriate words. There were some rare experiments with language eg. "sudden, ringing", "burst of red", "kicked out wildly". I gave this = example a LEVEL 4 (competent). Example 4 - Loneliness by Tyler I gave this writing a LEVEL 5 (experienced). I loved the pictures that = came to mind with "pitch black", "darkest point", "abandoned child". I felt = that the word choice did energize the writing with clear images. Example 5 - Loneliness by Nicky I didn't relate to this piece as much as the other. The voice and the = word choice seemed forced to me. (and I don't think that I really got the message-maybe MY brain is fuzzy!) Knowing that the verbs were given, I = have searched the nouns and adjectives. I found the word choice to be = accurate, but there was an element of clich=E9s within the piece that just didn't = work for me. eg. "sweet as candy". I gave this piece a LEVEL 3 (developing). Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Word Choice - Example #1,2,3,4,5 From: "Shirley Holloway" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 19:28:51 -0500 Example 1 I would give it a 2 the words are overused monotonous and repititious. Example 2 I would give this piece a 3 Colorful language- maybe a bit over done. Exmple 3 I would give this piece a 4. Words work and are natural, and there is a good variety. Example 4 I would give this piece a 3, There are some attempts at = colorful language. Example 5 I wouls give this a 5 . Clear images and figurative language. Shirley Holloway/2nd/IN - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #3*** Assignment - 11/20/99 From: DWsoc@aol.com Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 20:27:27 EDT Rubric assessment Level 1 -- extremely vague, imprecise language; limited vocabulary words don't fit the text Level 2 -- monotonous, misused words; colorless text; fuzzy images words detract from the meaning Level 3 -- ordinary words; inappropriate for audience or purpose forced colorful words;technical words overused Level 4 -- variety of effective words, though not energetic colorful,technical words occasionally overdone Level 5 -- appropriate, energetic words;purposeful; NATURAL evoke clear images Level 6 -- exceptionally interesting & precise powerful words, fresh language Passage Assessment #1 -- Stereo 1 limited vocabulary Ideas rubric - 1 or 2 mixed topic with some supp. details #2 -- Forest 3 forced colorful words #3 -- Hospital visit began 3 -- ordinary words ended 4 - effective words #4 -- Loneliness (Tyler) 2 -- fuzzy images #5 -- Loneliness (Nicky) 1 -- words don't fit the text Janet NM 3rd David Denver 2nd ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: ***Word Choice Example From: Cara Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 19:25:13 -0600 In the process of packing for a big move--uugh! I thought I would make = this assignment easy on myself and pull out my copies of Owl Moon and The BFG = to post examples for the people who couldn't get ahold of these books. Ha Ha--when you're packing, it's easier just to grab a book you *haven't* = packed yet! Here's a passage from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle: (I think = it's probably more of a 5 than a 6, but I've already packed most of my = *favorite* books) At school Meg was tired and her eyelids sagged and her mind wandered. In social studies she was asked to name the principal imports and exports of Nicaragua, and though she had looked them up dutifully the evening before, = now she could remember none of them. The teacher was sarcastic, the rest of = the class laughed, and she flung herself down in her seat in a fury. "Who = *cares* about the imports and exports of Nicaragua, anyhow?" she muttered. "If you're going to be rude, Margaret, you may leave the room," the = teacher said. "Okay, I will." Meg flounced out. -- Cara 2nd Grade Kansas City, Missouri mailto:nature1@swbell.net "If your mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut, too."--M is For Malice ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #1 *** 7/19/99 From: "Julia Poor" Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 20:28:29 -0500 She looked into the dustpan first, and then she'd look up at me, tremblin all over, her eyes so drowned in her own tears that they swam like rocks when you look down and see em in a stream... From *Delores Claiborne* by Stephen King Julia Poor Third Grade Indiana jpoor@tctc.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- ***Word Choice #4 - 7/22/99 *** Assignment*** From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 22:40:59 EDT Please remove my name from the list ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Class member request From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 19:17:38 -0700 Hello, We have a request from a class member to help generate a list of words having to do with the senses. This goes right in with word choice. Many of our students have a difficult time describing what they are sensing. They often tell, but they have a hard time showing. What are some words that can be used to describe things using our 5 senses? Some texture words like hard or soft are used often by my students. I = make them give me a comparison, when we are describing things in science. How soft is it? Is it cotton soft, skin soft, pillow soft? Does it bend? Is it stiff? For some of the senses, a comparison is the easiest way for children to describe something. Let's see if we can develop a list of more powerful vocabulary phrases = that would help them, whatever their ages. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Idea Stratgies pages up From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 20:14:40 -0700 http://6Traits.CyberSpaces.net/index.html All the Idea strategy pages are up, and the links seem to be working fine. Please e-mail me if you find misspelled words, incorrect names, or other problems. I put a link on the "went" synonym page to get back to the first page of the idea strategies. Would you like to be able to access the went synonym page without being on the idea page? I want the web site to be very user friendly. Please tell me what you = need to use it and share it with colleagues. I don't promise do take all of your suggestions to heart, but I will listen and consider them all. I = will do the things I can. Additionally, *are* the web pages helpful? Do you like having a list of strategies available on the list, and having the rubrics at hand? Or am I doing all this for no reason? =3D) E-me privately, please. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Here are the official scores-word choice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 21:17:11 -0700 My Stereo - Level 2 The language is monotonous. Words are not misused, but are not exciting. There is a lot of repetition. Night in the Forest - Level 4 going toward a 5 (There was some disagreement on this one in class) Words effectively convey the intended message; expression that is functional; some energizing words and phrases; some fresh expressions, = some cliches; ordinary words used in an unusual way. A mix of 4 and 5, could = go either way. There was definitely an effort made to use colorful language, but I felt the effort was a little visible. Journal entry again 4/5 The language is not colorful in the same sense as the previous example. = It is almost a stark rendition of events; accurate, specific words to convey ideas; words which evoke clear images and are placed for impact; no word choices or phrases that particularly energize the writing. Poem 1 - 5 Considering that this was a format given to Tyler and Nicky, their word choices were limited in a sense. However, Tyler has brought the feeling = of loneliness out very nicely by his word choices, and his comparisons. He has used fairly ordinary words to evoke images which are not ordinary. This, too, is a function of word choice. Poem 2 - 4 Nicky's poem is still stronger than weak. His word choices don't evoke images which are as evocative of loneliness as Tyler's do. His word choices give us a more concrete view of loneliness, and his last image is = a little unclear. Remember to ask yourself first, "Is this stronger than weak, or weaker = than strong?" If you are one point, plus or minus, from these rubric levels, you are doing fine. Remember that the reader brings something to this rubric as well as the writer. Your expectations of children, or writers, will also affect your scoring. Your emotions may be involved in a topic more, or less, and affect the score you give. Teachers must try to be as objective as possible, but we are still human. =3D) Try for consistency in your scoring. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: A *student* rubric guide- word choice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 21:52:21 -0700 You might use something like this for the students to judge their own = papers: 5-6 Paper: Extremely Clear, Visual, and Accurate I picked just the right words for just the right places. * All the words in my paper fit. Each one seems just right. * My words are colorful, snappy, vital, brisk and fresh. You won't find overdone, vague, or flowery language. * Look at all my energetic verbs. * Sme of the words and phrases are so vivid, the reader won't be able to forget them. 3-4 Paper: Correct, But Not Striking The words on my paper get the message across, but I don't capture anyone's imagination or attention. * I used everyday words pretty well, but I didn't stretch for a new or better way to say things. * Most of the time the reader will figure out what I mean, even if a few words are goofed up. * Occasionally, I may have gone a bit overboard with words that tried to impress the reader. * My words aren't really specific. Instead of saying, "The sun went down," I should have said, "The sun sagged into the treetops." = Better, juicier details were needed. * There are as many tired out cliches ("bright and early," "quick as a wink") as there are new, fresh and original phrases. "My mother made me feel more special than all her potted plants." 1-2 Paper: Confusing, Misused Words and Phrases Abound My reader is often asking, "What did you mean by this?" * A lot of my words and phrases are vague. "We liked to do things." "We were friends and stuff." * My words don't make pictures yet. "Something neat happened. "It was awesome." * Some of my words are misapplication. Oops, I mean misused. * Over and over I used the same words, over and over. and then over and over again until my paper was over. From _The Student Friendly Guide to Writing With Traits_ by Vicki Spandel and Ruth Culham, which may be reproduced without permission by classroom teachers and student writers. copyright 1993 Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest